Let me romanticize things.
Let me romanticize a cottagecore life,
the idea of living away from the judgment of society and the pressure of work,
with loved ones or pets or both or any, but ultimately with surrounded by
nature and the fruits of my labor. Let me picture a house with flowers, a
fairy-like bedroom, the fragrance of freshly-baked bread and home-cooking made with
the vegetables I grew. Let me envision the peace, the quiet, the only sounds
that of the spring nearby and the crickets at night.
Let me romanticize being a
librarian, imagining I had that chance. I actually love cataloging things, so
let me believe I wouldn’t have to do overwork that would ruin the fun of it.
Let me imagine the smiles of the people when I answer their questions and get
them what I want, or when I organize interesting events and presentations. Let
me see the library in all of its detail, the books neatly ordered, the place cared
for. Let me feel that education was being provided and working as it should,
being valued as I did my work.
Let me romanticize storytelling,
either through art or text or even music, even though for now I only dominate
the first two. Let me feel my characters come to life and become endearing to people,
speak to them as much as the plot itself. Let them see the fandom grow without
becoming toxic, recognizing the value in having different people project their
experiences and interpretations into the story, and making it theirs. Let me
see the cutscenes in my mind and efficiently get them across, immersing people.
Let me think I create stories that matter.
Let me romanticize escapism, even if
I can’t do it in real life. Let me see myself in a better reality, a better
scenario, either by imagining myself as the main character of a story or just
living with better conditions. Let me experience worlds where transphobia and
prejudice don’t exist, or where they still exist but things work out and I can
still be my authentic self. Let me work doing what I love even if it’s just in
my head, and believe that cultivating a fanbase of my creations will lead me
towards the right career, assuming I can frow my platforms. Let me talk in the
same way I write, without filters - not out of 'political correctness', but out
of fear of being judged as a snowflake of some sort. Let me be feel seen, even
if I’m not.